Twenty-Funny

I turned 21 last week and I do not have the classic hungover, vomiting story.

My parents came to town to celebrate me and we went out to fancy dinner with fancy drinks to match. I had a glass of pink champagne. That was the end of it. I was sick with this disgusting head cold-flu-death disease that won’t leave my system for the life of me.

This would happen to me. I would get too sick to drink on my 21st birthday.

Still recovering from the illness, my parents & brother & I all went to go visit my sister in Vermont last weekend. On the way, we stopped in New Hampshire. For all of you non-Northerners out there, you get tax-free alcohol in New Hampshire.

My parents saw this situation as an opportunity. My dad and I walked into the tax-free liquor store. It just felt wrong. My dad hands me tequila to buy for my sister and my mom hands me her favorite pink champagne.

With continuous denial and distaste, I went up to the cash register to pay. My dad took pictures and even forced the poor cashier to join in. It was uncomfortable.

The cashier said, “Congrats on your first legal purchase.”

MOTY chuckled, knowing that I have never bought an ounce of illegal anything in my life.

This story proves that my parents were more excited for me to turn 21 than I was. And my sister was just proud that the first time I bought anything alcoholic was for her. My 19 year old brother still thinks he is more deserving of being 21 years old than I am.

He said, “You are a disgrace to all 21 year olds out there.” Isn’t he sweet?

The jist of the story is that my parents forced me to buy alcohol and I am 21 years old.