Does This Make Me Needy?
If there is one thing you need to know about me is that I’m the definition of super single. I spend my Saturday night with my mountain of arts & craft supplies (including the 200 dollar hot glue gun my parents got me for my birthday a couple years back #noshame #craftingislife) and watching some good ole’ fashion TV.
Recently it has come to my attention by my lovely Jewish mother that I need to change my “lonely” single life. (lonely is the adjective I am using because I am not really sure what she said). My mother is trying her hardest to find me a man. Literally, if a guy sneezes in my direction my mom will tap me on the shoulder and say “he wants you. go flirt with him.” It is surprising that she hasn’t made a tinder account for me yet.
My mom and I recently went to the eye doctor and I got to pick out a new pair of glasses. I was beyond excited because this decision affects my entire year. I picked out these rad glasses and I was so pumped. (*SIDE NOTE* To this day I do not wear contacts because when I was 12 years old, the lady ,trying to help me use them, proceeded to sneeze in her hand and continue to go for my eye. I am forever wounded from this event. I am 20 years old.) Then my mom said, “Sarah I think it is time for you to get a second pair of glasses!” I was so excited and she told me that the second pair (clear glasses) were for job interviews.
Now a week has gone by and we went to pick up the glasses. I put on my “job interview” glasses and my mom says, “If this doesn’t help you get a date then god help me.” (I am prefacing). I laughed.
We go home and I am so excited to go show dad my new glasses.I put on my best model face and show them off. Dad says, “Why in the hell do you need two pairs of glasses?” and I said, “Mom says I need to get a boyfriend and this will help.” Then as if it was genetic, my father and I both roll our eyes.
A couple days have past and dad says “how’s that boyfriend of yours?”
If anyone wants to jump into this crazy family and date me. Then be my guest and ask me out. All I have to say is “Good Luck”!
